I would like to take this time to say Happy Birthday to Lil Kim, as I was unknowingly an attendee at a private birthday party for the rapper, which explains the 911 call I prematurely made from the party, reporting Michael Jackson was still alive. I reluctantly ended the call when I learned it was Lil Kim, but I'm hoping her doctors are next on LAPD's list...because an overdose of painkillers is the only way to cope with that face!
