Michael Lohan Arrested Again: The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From the Tree

Michael Lohan was just arrested AGAIN in Florida for allegedly contacting his girlfriend, Kate Major, and eventually falling from a tree. Lohan was released from jail just 12 hours prior, and ordered not to make any contact with Kate.... Well, he has refused to pay child support, and come jail or high water he's sticking to it!

Lindsay Lohan Bailed Out

Lindsay Lohan was quickly bailed out of jail Friday night; just hours after she was sentenced to 120 days in jail and 480 hours of community service for stealing a necklace that you can find at any street fair...An actress with a better variety of mug shots than headshots!

Lindsay Threatens Her Dad

Lindsay Lohan sent a threatening cease and desist letter to her father in order for him to stop selling her stuff.....Unlike the drug dealers who will never receive cease and desist letters for selling her stuff!

Lindsay Lohan's Dad to Open Drug Rehab Center

Lindsay Lohan's father, Michael Lohan, says he wants to open an drug addiction rehabilitation center. This announcement comes just days after Lindsay was released from a court-ordered rehab in Los Angeles....Sounds like a great idea, at least they will now get a lot of father and daughter time together!

She's Baaaack Bitches

Lindsay Lohan was released from her rehab/jail sentence yesterday afternoon. The actress is home free.....Well, this is great news for our country's unemployment rate, drug dealers are back to work!

Lindsay Lohan is Fed Up

Lindsay Lohan has been threatening to move away from Los Angeles for good, complaining that the people there are just so "disgusting.".....I get the feeling her coke dealer is no longer reliable. Yeah, that would disgust me too!

Lindsay Leaves L.A.

Lindsay Lohan and her sister Ali were spotted at LAX on Thursday while boarding a flight to escape Los Angeles to NYC for some peace and quiet to help her image...hmmm, somehow I'm thinking that won't help, as there's still cocaine in NYC!

In Debt

Lindsay Lohan is rumored to have $600,000 in credit card debt and is facing legal action, if she fails to address her financial problems soon....There's no way she's throwing her credit cards away, right? Seriously, what would she use to cut up her coke?

What a Mess

This photo was snapped of Lindsay Lohan leaving a friend's house recently....you have to be higher than a f*ckin kite, when you don't even notice that the "8" ball has fallen on your feet!

Lindsanity

Lindsay Lohan is suing, E-Trade, for the use of the name "Lindsay". A baby used the name when referring to a "milkaholic" during a Super Bowl commercial....Is she high? Wait, the answer is probably yes. I would be able to see her point, If the baby was actually trying to snort the milk!

Tweet Of The Week

Lindsay Lohan's dad sent a suicide tweet over the weekend....gotta love a dad who continues to embarrass the f*ck out of you!

Michael Lohan says: "FIANCE JUST LEFT ME. MY WHOLE FAMILY HATES ME. I SPENT THANKSGIVING WITH MY MOM I JUST CANT DO ANY OF THIS ANY MORE. THE DEATH OF MY FATHER PUT ME IN A BLACK HOLE IDK WHAT TO DO. HEADING TO THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE. GOODBYE. @LINDSAYLOHAN LOVE YOU. B YE"...

Chalaire says: when your parents use "IDK" you kinda hope the suicide is successful...However, at least his mom and other 2 kids get to see what they really mean to him!

Tweet Of The Week

Lindsay Lohan shot back at her dad through my favorite PR firm, Twitter, after he leaked voicemail recordings of the former talented actress having an emotional break down.

Lindsay says:
"My father's such a loser & those recordings are from years ago. To release personal things is foul enough, but to edit them. I used to think that he needed the book for dummies on learning how to be a father. Haha- he's needs the book for dummies on HOW TO BE A MAN. Thank you to my fans for all of your support I luv you all so much! And I'm lucky to have great family & friends THAT ARE in my life & are positive influences! So much going on in the world, let's focus on putting our energy into the RIGHT things … Love you all."

Chalaire says:
Damn, this is worst than the Al Gore vs. George Bush election...I just can't decide which idiot is less of an idiot than the other!

Stunning

Lindsay Lohan, who is still on probation from her 2007 DUI arrest, has been ordered by the judge to appear in court today for her progress report....She's definitely making progress, if she's up for a part in the remake of "Night Of The Living Dead." Seriously, would someone get this chick a mirror...excuse me, would someone get this chick a mirror that doesn't have cocaine lines on it?